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Both of these levels are possible--Despoina as a Lady and Despoina as a goddess--and probably Lewis meant them both.
Here are the passages having to do with Despoina (with the endearments in added italics).
In other words, besides differences in meter and rhyme patterns, these two poems treat Despoina differently--and certainly the second develops her more fully.
For example, when Lewis tells Despoina to "[b]ow down [her] head [and] clasp [her] pale arms over it [.
Another indication that the Despoina in "Apology" has deitific overtones and the Despoina in "Ode for New Year's Day" does not, is that the former poem has no reference to a god in it, but the latter has a "red God"--that is, a wrathful, bloody, evil God.
Obviously, since "Ode for New Year's Day" has endearments to a woman in it, and Janie Moore is the only woman (so far as is known) that Lewis was intimate with in the period, the probability is high that Despoina "is" Janie Moore.
The third Despoina poem was not published at the time, but it has been printed in a 2004 essay by Don W.
The lines are shorter than in the other Despoina poems, being usually trimeter in length.
Despoina is here a woman, called "sweet"; she is requested to open a window (not the actions of a goddess)--and an open window again suggests a change: the stuffy house is being relieved by fresh air.
Perhaps he thought the pessimism of many of the poems in the book should be allowed to stand as his statement at the time (and "Death in Battle" made a better final poem); perhaps he decided the trimeters did not work well for what he had to say; perhaps he thought the action of Despoina in opening a window might draw university authorities' attention to him if the authorship was ever known; perhaps it was written too late to be included (and Greeves copied it as a final statement)--in short, the reason for exclusion is not known.
Obviously, this poem does not reveal much about Despoina.
John Bremer, in "From Despoina to Diotima," with hesitation denies that Janie Moore might be the Despoina of the two poems in Spirits in Bondage, finding little of the affection in those poems that one would expect between lovers (13-14).