Forward planning in international football is like nailing jelly
to the wall - and every side is a couple of sore hamstrings away from going back to the drawing board.
It was nailing jelly
to the wall stuff and would've been a day punters from both clubs tried to erase from the memory banks quicker than it took to ring out their soaking clobber.
Instead it has morphed into something so unrecognisable and so complicated it would be easier nailing jelly
to the wall.
Trying to predict who'll win the Grand Final is like nailing jelly
to the wall (not actually similar to it, but pointless, difficult and a waste of perfectly good jelly).
Add in inevitable board stretch (discussed in a previous column) and, well, it was an exercise much like nailing jelly
to a wall: it just wouldn't stick.
But looking for anything tangible among the pages of guff is as difficult as nailing jelly
to a wall.
Despite the huge size of it, and Labour's claims it includes 400 actions, much of what is here are promises not to change things like free prescriptions and bus travel for pensioners - that is, commitments not to do something - or are so vague that understanding what they mean is like nailing jelly
to a wall.
A political historian once compared the work of intellectual historians to nailing jelly
to a wall.
Complaining to BT is as effective as nailing jelly
to the ceiling because, when you try, you're shunted from one queue to the next, with each department claiming "it's not our responsibility", flicking a switch and allowing you to enjoy another 20 minutes of taped Mozart.
Aston Villa stopper Ron Vlaar will attempt to shackle the little magician but he might find it easier nailing jelly
to a wall than stopping Messi in full flight.
WE WROTE: Stockton North MP Alex Cunningham says it is easier nailing jelly
to a wall than finding someone prepared to take responsibility for Teesside's coroner's service.
ALEX CUNNINGHAM says it is easier "nailing jelly
to a wall" than finding someone prepared to take responsibility for Teesside's coroner's service.