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Here's just some of them: noisy eaters, people who dither with grocery coupons, adults who read Harry Potter, powerwalkers, serial texters, religious bigots, Alan Titchmarsh, Disneyland, novelty socks, politicians who lie about loving trendy groups, linesmen, litter-droppers, that two second silence when you're cold-called, attentionseeking laughter shriekers, bow ties, businessmen on mobiles, Tories, white teens talking like blacks, circuses, whining ex-pats, jeans that show your bum crack, Christian rock, Blue Peter, Aussie voices that rise at the end of sentences, so-called left-wingers who accept Honours, Songs of Praise, beards, anything beige, Bill Bryson and grey pony-tails.
Then I am a movie star (if not your classic movie star), just one of the shriekers who is always beautiful when her head spins suddenly and her hair fans.
So I knew what Loud TV were up to - trying to read the news in a studio full of geeks, freaks and shriekers would have been a challenge.